1989: Who’s Newton?

We’re just a bunch of dorks here at Fullsteam. Dorks who are fascinated with failed and often inane predictions of the future.

I think this interest in past predictions stems from our own idealized vision of the tavern: a gathering space more concerned with the here-and-now than what tomorrow might bring. Historically, the American tavern has been the community center for friendship and flirtation, of revelry and political banter. If taverngoers ever discussed the future, it was to organize themselves to fight the power. And at least once, to envision a new nation.

Yet today, we as a society are so often consumed with the future as other people see it that we tend to undermine our own present potential. When we leave the future to the futurists, we abscond our own opportunity to shape history.

Let’s face it. Most futurists have no idea what they’re talking about. (Buckminster Fuller excepted.) Good or bad, we have no clue what the future will bring. And the best way to prove this maxim is to have some fun looking back at past predictions and kooky inventions.

So, with no further ado, meet Newton. At over seven minutes, it’s a little long. If time is tight, be sure to view the first and last minutes. But unlike liquor’s “heads and tails” — those undesirable and sometimes poisonous elements discarded in distillation — the Newton promo’s heads and tails are the sweetest of all.

I predict you’ll love it.

Got an idea for “The Future!”? Send ‘em our way! We’ll credit you with the find and may even buy you a drink. We’ll at least give you a coaster.

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